This is too funny. I am sure all of you know someone that is just like one of these Barbie's. (You don't have to say who). Just please don't say I am like the Emigration Canyon doll :)
Mattel recently announced the creation of a limited line of custom-made Barbie dolls specifically made for the SALT LAKE CITYmarket:
'ParkCity Barbie' She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a four million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic, ex-model Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version ofBarbie.
'Draper Barbie' The modern day home-maker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan andmatching Juicy Couture gym outfit. She gets lost easily, has no full-time occupation, and her favorite hobby is taking crafting classes at the Quilted Bear. Traffic jamming cell phone/Blackberry sold separately.
'Kearns Barbie' This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, an OJ Simpson knife, a 1995 Chevy Silverado with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
'CottonwoodHeights Barbie' This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of a black BMW convertible or black Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, platinum credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to affordany of them.
'WestValley Barbie'This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Toby Keith CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately, and get a confederate flag bumpersticker absolutely FREE!
'EmigrationCanyon Barbie' Thisc ollagen injected, practically plastic Barbie wears leopard print leggingsand your choice of tops from Bebe at the Gateway. She drinks cosmopolitans and serves hot hors d'ourves while entertaining her attorney friends.Percocet prescription available, as well as newly built high-rise condo. Charcoal gray Range Rover sold separately.
'Magna Barbie' This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of RosePark Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, LeePress-On nails and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home,furnished entirely by Furniture Warehouse on Road Redwood.
'The Avenues Barbie' This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, granny glasses and Birkenstocks with whitesocks. She prefers that you call her Willow.She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Avenues Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
'Rose Park Barbie' This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include an oversized NFL Team shirt, GED and a UTA bus pass. White boy GangstaKen and his 1979 low-rider Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
'Provo Barbie' This celestially beautiful Barbie comes complete with skirt and sweater set from Talbots, modest heels and a Sandra Dee hair-do.Optional accessories include GMC Suburban with seating for twelve, Amway Double-Diamond Dealer benefits card, and a laminated temple recommend. Elder's Quorum President Ken sold separately, along with children KenJr. and Skipper (children sold only in bulk packs of 8 or 10).
